A True Life Story
Narrated by Mdu Gumbi
Written and edited by Rev. Eugene Chuang
SIM SA Missionary
M.A. Intercultural Studies Wheaton
Gogo Gumbi (gogo means granny in isiZulu) was an amazing woman whom I never met in person and only heard from Mdu, her one of grandchildren who is influenced by her great parenthood.
On 9 June 2020, I walked with Mdu whom I have been discipling for 10 years, and spent some time with him at his temporal house after the sad news came to him, his gogo has passed away on 5 June. I intentionally listened to him by asking, “how do you feel, Mdu?” “I feel so bad”, said Mdu. Mdu spoke with me all along with that his gogo was the one that matters to his life. What about her that makes you so miss her? I asked for debriefing him and allowing him to express himself from the heart. Here I summarize the story and categorize it into four virtues of his gogo.
Gogo as A Parent
Mdu started with this,
“My gogo was an amazing woman. When I was sent to stay with her, I was less than 4 or 5 years old. Although I once stayed with my mom and my dad respectively in a short period, I stayed with my gogo with the majority of the time. It was more than 25 years with her since I am 30 years old now. My gogo was just like my mother and father. Besides my gogo, there were an uncle, aunties, cousins, we once had 9 in total under one roof. It was crowded but we enjoyed the time. I remembered when the parent's meeting occurred in my primary school, she went up for me to the hill as my parent while my aunt and uncle refused to present for me.”
Mdu’s sobbing suddenly stopped the flow of the story. The room became silent except for his sound of sobbing.
“She knew how to treat everyone equally. Since she was a domestic worker to a white family, she usually came home with leftovers. I never mind at all that was leftover, even it was leftover, to me it was delicious, and we together cherished the moment of sharing the leftover. My gogo was a sharing woman. She would divide into 9 pieces if it was a cake, or even it was a drumstick. She would treat everyone fairly and equally, even one or a few of us might not be at home by the time. She would keep that until we came back.”
Gogo as A Defender
"Life had a tough time, particularly when the family matters arose. 'You (Mdu) are not Gumbi family!’” his uncle once shouted at him. Mdu explained that since his parents never got married, he was only able to be named after his mother’s surname.
“Being excluded that was how I felt. Most of us, even nowadays, feel excluded, if our parents are not married yet. We are not able to be named after our father’s surname. I feel that I belong to nowhere. Yet, when such time comes, my gogo was the defender of me. ‘He, (Mdu) is one of Gumbi’”, gogo Gumbi defended.
Mdu sobbed again.
Gogo as A Character Builder
Gogo Gumbi was a domestic worker who did everything with her hands and knew she ripped what she sowed and was the one who motivated everyone at home to do something for their lives. By this influence, Mdu says, “She left the legacy for me to diligently run business.” “I started selling sweets to fellow students when I was only grade 4.”
Although Mdu is still not a businessman by profession, yet I can tell that Mdu is now a true diligent man that surely formed by his gogo’s influence that had made him different from other men in the community. Besides the current job as a worker, he was able to buy a shipping container and open up a tuck shop called “Yona Yethu” (means Our Mister). However, the shop is currently rent out to a friend running.
Gogo as An Intercessor
Gogo Gumbi believed in God and devoted herself to praying to God. Her prayer life that has sustained the entire family as Mdu witnessed. Mdu was encouraged to go to the church as he was still young. Mdu continues to say, “In every Sunday morning, my gogo woke everybody up, and chased us to go to church”. “We had prayer day once a week as a family, gogo always led us to pray. Pray for family and for others who are in need. As we have grown up, most of us lost interest at the time in praying with her, she was frustrated. Yet she closed up the door in her room and continue to pray alone”. Mdu topped and wept again. “She prayed loudly for every one of us by names.”
Reflection: A Nation cries for fathers
Through listening to Mdu’s precious memories of gogo Gumbi, we may have a brief concept of the formation of a South African Black family that has become a common situation nowadays. In the statistic of 2017 SA, it shows that 61.8% of children are fatherless or live without father (51.7% not stay with father, 10.1% father deceased) (See reference below). Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng once on 30 Sept 2019 was invited by Vuka Africa Foundation in a speech of focusing on healing and stopping the violence, said, “The biggest disease of South Africa is ‘no father’”, “Father is the one who provides leadership to sons and daughters”.
His societal diagnosis on healing family and stopping the violence is sharp, straight forward, and correct in point of view. It indicates that finding and dealing with the root of the problem is more effective than only stopping the symptoms in appearance – bad behaviours. Some might say, “if there are harsher and stricter punishments in law that might stop and reduce the violence of the gender-based”. Yet my humble thought is, “Law is an act to stop crimes, but not a cure”. Both stopping Gender-Based Violence (GBV) and having a responsible, committed father for sons and daughters in communities shall considerably trace down to the root of the problem - dysfunctional fatherhood that has broken many hearts of mother, spouse, or lady, son, and daughter in the nation. It has resulted in a clueless, hopeless, and purposeless generation. Crying out loud from many hearts, “Where are our fathers?” The biblical and godly fatherhood, therefore, shall be uplifted and reactivated by finding what the Bible says.
Virtues found in a woman such as gogo Gumbi as a parent, a defender, a character builder, and an intercessor to sons and daughters shall too be found in fathers. A lovingkind image of God the Father then shall prevail. To fatherless sons and daughters, pastors, rectors, ministers, missionaries, and workers of communities in South Africa may learn from God the Father who loves his children wholeheartedly with long-lasting commitment and patience even sent his One and Only Son died for our sins. Disciplining sons and daughters for building good characters, coupled with guiding and participating in their life matters by exemplifying his own life that is desperately needed in the communities as well.
This article is limited to depict the weak point of the formation of a typical South African Black family in communities and not aimed to address its entire causes of the matter. It simply and humbly provides a few thoughts and solutions for faithful workers of children, teens, and young lives in the communities of South Africa.
Reference: https://ewn.co.za/2018/07/04/fact-check-are-57-of-sa-kids-raised-without-fathers.
 |
Mdu Gumbi (Right with headphones)
|
